• FOUND THAT I, I CRAVED IT ALL

I. NEON GENESIS EVANGELION

At twenty-two I was sure my seventeen year-old self was the pinnacle of life as me. It’s hard to look back at my younger self without the dark tint of the present staining it all lighter. The dewy glow of teenagehood I can only describe as blue.In truth, I don’t know why I’m so keen on writing a life at twenty something. Not death, no, not the end of times, but a strange urgency in taking my place. As if recording it all can make fragments turn into a whole.I was sitting in a red office chair, a cheap one my mother bought at the supermarket. No one was around. I was in my bedroom, the one I shared with my older brother. I stared at the open window pane as the sun hit my face on the right. Its power heating, summer. As I stared back at myself, I was hit with the otherworldly realization that I was, despite it all, alive. This understanding is a trivial one, it’s almost nothing to note.